I might be the only one, but I really don't go to gay bars anymore.
The music sucks, the crowd is vapid or desperate and I rarely have a good time. When guys ask me why they haven't seen me on the scene and where do I hang out, I tell them I go to rock clubs and punk bars. This response is mostly met with disdain, but every now and then, it's more like, "Cool. I'm tired of the gay scene. Where do you go - let's hang there." I think it's time to kill the gay scene - all the cool queers have given up their safety blankets. It's harder to meet queers in the regular places, but when you meet someone you know they're gonna be a lot more interesting to you...
The music sucks, the crowd is vapid or desperate and I rarely have a good time. When guys ask me why they haven't seen me on the scene and where do I hang out, I tell them I go to rock clubs and punk bars. This response is mostly met with disdain, but every now and then, it's more like, "Cool. I'm tired of the gay scene. Where do you go - let's hang there." I think it's time to kill the gay scene - all the cool queers have given up their safety blankets. It's harder to meet queers in the regular places, but when you meet someone you know they're gonna be a lot more interesting to you...
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Sun, December 12, 2004 - 5:31 PMLet's do this bar-by-bar, one-by-one. Let's start with the Midnight Sun in SF, raze that piece of shit to the ground -- but slowly ... maybe celebrating as each video monitor is crushed and every old episode of "Designing Women" and "Will and Grace" is shredded. Allow the aroma of overpriced and garish cologne to waft freely away. Hear the crunch and crackle of the glassware, no longer needed to serve cosmopolitans or apple-tinis. Allow the wind to blow away the years and years of stale conversation, celebrity worship and idle gossip. Poof. Gone.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, December 15, 2004 - 3:55 PMWell... of course I must add Badlands to the top of the SF least wanted bar list. As heinous as Midnight Sun, since Les took over and gutted the place. Following those two, any bar associated with Les, ie: The Detour and The Mix. -
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Unsu...
Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, December 17, 2004 - 1:33 PMthere still needs to be a safe environment to get drunk and hit on people without overscrutinizing your "gaydar". -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, December 23, 2004 - 9:17 PMI'll offer up my house as a safe environment for people to get drunk and hit on each other! Just don't expect me to provide the booze everytime!
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, December 23, 2004 - 2:29 PMI'm with you there but I'll always hold my first visit to Sadlands very fondly in my heart. It was way back in 83. I wandered in, got my drink and then went towards the back when suddenly it got absolutely dark. I could not see a foot in front of me. Before I knew it there were hands groping under my t-shirt. Good times back then. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, December 23, 2004 - 8:53 PMthe old sadlands was good and is long gone. It's now one of those carpet/chrome/brass/mirror bars. The racism was thrown in as a bonus.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, August 8, 2005 - 7:47 PMYES! How about the whole Castro! -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, August 19, 2005 - 7:00 PM"YES! How about the whole Castro!"
Just promise you'll leave The Cafe. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't go see Lewis, lay down tips that cost more than my drink hoping it will make me stand out in his mind, and secretly wish I was single and um... not fat and smarter and richer and taller so I could wrangle him for JUST ONE NIGHT!!! Oh crap! I guess it's not a secret anymore. Oh crap! I sound like hundreds of other gay men who have fallen into his trap! Oh crap! I'm thinking with my penis! Oh crap! I'm a man! A GAY man!
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Sun, December 12, 2004 - 8:03 PMWell I vote for Rage and Micky's In WEHO!! They are long over due for a change, those young twinks think they were the other gay boys ever to go to the bars, Ove priced, wated down drinks, Stick up pretty boys for days, too loud music you can't even hear what they are singing anyway. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Sun, December 12, 2004 - 8:20 PMI really can't think of *any* worth *saving* in Chicago, except maybe Big Chicks, and even then it might be me being sentimental cuz Michelle is just the coolest woman ever. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, December 13, 2004 - 6:31 AMDo me a favor though and leave the dyke bars alone- I mean there's like one left right? -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, December 13, 2004 - 4:46 PMOkay, Orlando, okay. We won't touch the Lexington in SF. That's a great bar anyway and they sometimes have live bands.
Anyone here in Atlanta? I heard a GREAT rumor -- that Backstreet is closed. True? If not, let's give that one away next. (Orlando, it's a fag bar, so we won't be breakin' yer heart)
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, December 13, 2004 - 5:14 PMI would rather go to the dyke bars here in Hollywood, the dykes are much more friendlier then the gays boys of Boy's Town here. I Love The Palm, it is a great dyke bar. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, December 13, 2004 - 5:27 PMI might even be happy if there were bars that had a decent mix of dykes and fags. I mean, really! -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, December 13, 2004 - 5:50 PMSad, Mark. Sad, but oh so true.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Tue, June 20, 2006 - 5:33 PMRe: Do me a favor and leave the dyke bars alone.
Now here in Oz, if it was not for the gay bars, there would never of been any dyke bars, or a dyke sceen, as they would all be still living in the hills like hillbillies.
But like the work force, that men havw worked for a long time, to make safe. It is because of gays/fags, that have made it safe to have gay bars, and now dyke bars have come along, coz us guys have made it safe for dykes to stop hidding in the hills, and come down from the tree's.
But............ I do not go to gay bars! I did untill I was 24, and I am now almost 45. I feel more at home, in a str8 bar.
But the one bar if I do go out every few years is a leather bar, coz not many girly men there, well queens anyway. But leather queens, and bears that love to hang there. I have nothing in common with, as they are try hard real men, and I am a mans man. It seems the only place I ever meet another mans man, is at str8 bars, and not gay bars.
Maybe I need a fag bar, no queen's, bi's, breeders, dykes. Just real men whom love to suck cock.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, December 23, 2004 - 9:16 PMI agree let's keep Big Chicks, it's the only gay bar I ever go to in Chicago anymore. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, December 23, 2004 - 9:35 PMYeah, we can keep Akbar in Silverlake too. They at least have stuff like Patti Smith and The Clash in the jukebox. They also have "Dirty Dirty House" on Thursday nights and that's a fun club. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, December 24, 2004 - 11:33 AMAkbar can stay, i like it too, Plus we have to keep The Apache and Oil Can Harry's, can't live with out my cowboy studs!! Faultline stays too, need some place to find bears and leather daddy's!!
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, December 29, 2004 - 5:10 PMYeah I like Akbar... -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, December 29, 2004 - 5:24 PMNow as for Dallas, Tx, some one needs to buy Caven Enterprises and update they bars and get rid of all of the Jay Reily Bars. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, December 29, 2004 - 5:53 PMRemember when it was the straights were trying to emulate the gay bars? Now it's the straight clubs that play the better music, have the comfy lounge areas and the more progressive sensibilities. For some reason (most) gay bars seem to prefer their patrons to stand, sit on barstools at tall tables or sit on wooden benches that have been attached to the premesis. The rare gay spot that has a lounge feeling to it still feels it necessary pump in that high energy circuit party music. I mean, we're trying to have a little chit chat here and I can't hear my friend across the table because some wailing diva's screeching her lungs out on a tinny sound system thats cranked up to very high decibels. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, December 29, 2004 - 9:23 PMAnyone remember the Flame in Ann Arbor? It was great. It had these little diner booths along the whole wall and a jukebox with cool old music. A complete dive in the best way... It's long closed and I don't know anyplace like it.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Tue, February 15, 2005 - 4:18 AMI can't stand gay bars - why do they gotta be so cliche'?? glitter, feather,s neon colours, rainbow flags, photos of drag queens and liza minelli, ok some people like that stuff, but if i wanna go for a drink can i not sit in a decent bar with nice lighting, a laid back atmosphere and friendly people? apparently not - as the minute u get in there you're faced with pouty rancid attitude engorged bitches ripping everyone and everything to shreds in some vain attempt to not secretly hate them selves so much. I'm happy with who I am, i'm just a guy who happens to like other guys, difference is it doesn't have to take over my life. it's kinda about time gay people made being gay as important as straight people make being straight - ie: its another small part of u - not your whole life. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, February 24, 2006 - 2:17 PMi understand where you are coming from, but the bars are one of the only place that it is safe to meet. maybe they should start mixing the bars to have a chilled out section and a pretentious club area for all those that want it. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, February 24, 2006 - 3:38 PMI think we should just give away the alcohol, but keep the bars....turn them all into Oxygen Bars with herbal drinks. Its the alcohol that makes everyone stupid anyways...
Shekinah
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Unsu...
Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, February 24, 2006 - 4:54 PMDavid, I come from a small town, and I came out a long, long time ago, but in that place at that time, bars were indeed the only place to meet other Gay guys.
I can see why people think it's a bad environment, but it was all we had, and not knowing any better, we had quite a good time. We drank too much, drugged too much, and we had to mix Drag, Dyke, Leather, Disco, and Preppie, all into one little bar. I wouldn't trade a moment of it for "better surroundings" or greater acceptance. Being forced to hide made us a close-knit group, and grateful for what we had.
Today, in most places, there are alternatives to the Gay Lifestyle that I knew. Give away Gay bars? Maybe? But not if it's all you've got.
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Keep gay bars! (Which ones?)
Tue, April 12, 2005 - 9:48 PMI think it really funny that the thread starts off with 'give away gay bars' and then down the line peolpe are just talking about all the gay bars that they want to keep; the message here to me is fix some gay bars change 'OUR' gay scene.
I know that a lot of gay bars that I have been to: especially those in the gay village, were often...stereotypical. At a time in my life that was all I wanted. I come from a very small town and that scene was important to me, important acuse it was all I knew to look for, and important as a launching pad for the really cool queer spaces I now enjoy; i.e the Dufferin in Vancouver B.C which is very much part of the gay scence.
I am all for, what I believe is the underlying message, get rid of the gay, gay, gay, staple [(rainbow anything, Liza, and black and whites of what I am told is supposed to be two beautiful boys making out (Not! Just more staples)], but we need some, or at least one. Call them museums, or our new and improved bar ancestors, whatever, we all need a space for all styles, just like I need a new non-glory to gaylordy lordy lord glitter gash sites that make me tap to Danny Tenaglia remixes of Madonna, THAT I HAVE BEEN HEARING FOR FIVE YEARS!!!
No gay bar genocide, just a little homocentric cleansing,... or is that too one sided. -
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Unsu...
Re: Keep gay bars! (Which ones?)
Wed, April 13, 2005 - 7:37 AMI concur about Big Chicks. Its is alright.
But the rest can be torched.
There was a nice Dyke bar a few years back called "Off the Line" had a great juke box and the crowd was always evening mixed men and women and a good chunk of straights too. It was just a nice neighborhood place.
Hell the dyke bars around here a slim pickings.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Sun, April 24, 2005 - 2:12 PMYeah, like The Business says -- SMASH THE DISCOS!!!!!!!! -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Sun, April 24, 2005 - 2:16 PMOn a brighter note, if any of you geys are in NYC on the 2nd or 4th friday of the month, be sure to check out the MAN/M8 party at Octagon (shameless plug i know, but it's my job) It's all about Punks, Skins, and Men who like Punks, Skins, and Men.
www.m8ny.com
www.thebrotherhooded.com -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, July 28, 2005 - 11:10 PMI WORKED AT A DIVE GAY BAR, IT RUINED MY LIFE
LETS LOOSE THE BARS AND CALL GAY BAR DAYS "THE DARK AGES" AND INVENT SOMETHING EXCITING AND NEW!
(KEEP CLUBS/BARS IN CLUBS) BUT, JUST LOOSE THE FUCKING BARS, I CANT THINK OF A SINGLE FUCKING GENUINE WORTH WHILE THING IN MY LIFE THAT HAS COME FROM A GAY BAR.
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Thu, August 18, 2005 - 6:28 PMThe last time I set foot in a Gay bar, was almost a yera ago, and that was for my mate floss B'day. Before that it would of been years.
I just did not fit in at all. I could not even get drunk..........
My garden is a acre, with it's very own gazbo. So I am more than happy to sit in it, and dance with marry jane.
But thne I am also an old fag, of 43. (pension card is in the mail.) so were do us old fella's go! -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Fri, August 19, 2005 - 4:38 AMhere in saint louis we have diferent bars
we have club bars were the college age 20- 32 go
transition bars 32-38
and neighaborhood bars where you go after that unless you have out of town companmy then you go to the club bars
although after talking to several couples and people i know
it seems once you reach about 35 and have an established place you dont go out as much for the following reasons
1. not as much money ( mortgage, savings cars and vacations ) eat into disposable income
2. if your home you dont worry about the cops and driving ( very high drunk driving penalities here)
3. cheaper cost wise and if you want to seea twink get drunk and naked theres is always one you can invite over from gay.com or manhunt or something
4. less DRAMA much Less DRAMA
5. and my favorite why should i pay 10.00 and 7.50 a drink when i can get drunk at home for 17.50 and actually have alchol in the glass -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 12:53 AMOMG I would not be caught dead in a gay bar -
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Unsu...
Re: OMG I would not be caught dead in a gay bar
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 8:01 AMDave, you live in LA, where there are hundreds of other places to meet Gay men. Some of us live in small towns, and outside of Gay bars, a lot of Gay men won't even admit to knowing one another. Much less meet someone new.
Gay bars suck. But they're better than rest stops and library bathrooms. -
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Re: OMG I would not be caught dead in a gay bar
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 6:22 PMGosh Jay
I do realize that I am fortunate in that 15 million people live within 100 miles of me.
<--------invoking sarcasm
It's a shame that they are all on crystal meth.
No really, I am not sure I could do "small town." Although I would like to try.
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Re: OMG I would not be caught dead in a gay bar
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 6:26 PMOH!
I have been to Guntersville. It was fun. -
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Unsu...
Re: OMG I would not be caught dead in a gay bar
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 7:44 PMJeez Dave, I've never been to Guntersville.
I have a Gay cousin who used to have a houseboat on Guntersville lake. He used to take people up there all the time. I was never invited. I'm way cuter than he is. I guess he felt threatened.
I'm planning a move to an even smaller small town, Shawnee, OK. I plan to be the town eccentric. A tourist attraction. People from all over Oklahoma will come to see me. I'll be famous. -
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Re: OMG I would not be caught dead in a gay bar
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 10:46 PMWhoo hoooooo! There is a dude on tribe who runs a nursery in Oklahoma somewhere which he operates in the nude. People are encouraged to shop nude. I want to go! -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.Unsu...
Re: a nursery in Oklahoma
Tue, February 28, 2006 - 12:13 AMLet me know if you spot him. I could always use a little shrubbery. LOL
I hope he doesn't sell anything with thorns! My mom is a Master Gardener with the Pottawatomie County extension service. I'll have to see if she's heard about it.
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Unsu...
Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, June 21, 2006 - 8:14 AMI think we kinda missed the point on this one. The theme of the tribe is about giving away things that no longer work for us. The original post'er was complete on the mark.
Gay bars do not work for too many reasons. 1. Alcohol and drug abuse in the gay community has skyrocketed, 2. Lewd, uncomfortable, invasive behavior that would not be tolerated anywhere else, is the norm 3. Attitudes, games and the lack of a fresh perspective predominate the scene
If you think about what makes going out fun it's really hanging with your friends, meeting new people and having a mix of personalities in the place. That doesn't happen in gay bars because it's all the same people who are all the same (gay men).
I go to gay bars in town (my friends work there/mange/own them) but we're lucky enough here to have a few mixed bars (gay/str8) and a good dance club (str8) but they have drag and homo's are welcome!
I think it's time we give away gay bars and get some good dance clubs (which if true to their nature are 100% gay friendly) and ultra-lounges. Let's hang with the dykes, let's dance with the heteros! Who knows you might have fun!
Btw, I didn't forget the leather guys. If we have to have a leather bar let it be like the Eagle in Columbus, which looks like a combination of alternative dance club / darque ultra lounge. -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, June 21, 2006 - 6:35 PMi don't go to Gay bars very often. the music and attitude are so awful that i'm convinced that most Gay bars are in fact secretly part of a vast right-wing Republican conspiracy to keep GLBT folks addicted to alcohol, tobacco and self-loathing... people who love and respect themselves don't need to abuse their bodies and act snooty towards other people....
Gay bars do not work for too many reasons. 1. Alcohol and drug abuse in the gay community has skyrocketed, 2. Lewd, uncomfortable, invasive behavior that would not be tolerated anywhere else, is the norm 3. Attitudes, games and the lack of a fresh perspective predominate the scene
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Wed, June 21, 2006 - 6:39 PMThe Cafe in SF isn't so much like that, well as far as it being all one folk. There've been a lot of lesbians, even str8s!!! I see a lotta mixed groups. It's fun, just too small. I like the melting pot it's become though. Viva la Cafe! -
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Re: Give away gay bars...
Sat, June 24, 2006 - 2:12 AMWhen I go to gay bars, gay gyms, gay anything... mostly I pretend I'm Carrie at the prom. . . AFTER the blood splash! It makes it so much more fun!
It helps A LOT.
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